Sunday, August 10, 2003

    WEll, overall my head hasn't been in the best place over the last couple of months. hence the lack of update.

ive had some great times with good friends, but ive also had some nights where i just dont want to be around the people who are out. Ive kept on with the drinking less thing. maybe thats one of the reasons why.

after reading, i am going to cut back with the weed as well as the booze. gonna try a month, see how things go. maybe restrict it to social gatherings only. at the moment, im smoking every day. i even rolled a joint this morning at 11am. there was no need, there was so many other things i could have been doing with my life. oh well. i needed the sleep.

things are no better with beck, and quite frankly im beginning to think its for the best. i want someone who pushes me to do new things, someone who i dont have to worry so much about if we are at a party and im talking to someone else. beck isnt the most sociable of people (no matter how hard i try) and a lot of the time when we go out somewhere, if i'm not talking to her, she is just sat there being quiet.

one thing i found amusing the other day... at a party we went to recently, i got chatting to a lass (who is going out with someone i know) and we were really getting on well. she was a bit of a geek too, and somehow she seemed interested in geekywebsitecrap. in fact it was her asking about it most of the time.

anyway, we were chatting outside for some time, i was oblivious to pretty much everything else going off at the party. i found out the other day that she was getting the evil eye from TWO girls at the party! (one was beck, the other im not mentioning). I dont know if she was jealous, bored (as far as i know, sally was chatting to beck, so it wasnt as if she was stood alone) or just didnt like seeing me chatting so happily with someone else.

ummm. yeah. anyway. i need to make some changes to my life over the coming months. i need to sort my housing situation out (nick is moving out). whether that means finding a new housemate, or seeing about buying a place of my own, im not sure yet.

• i need to cut back on the booze and weed intake. well, the booze one is down to a sensible level now. but the weed isnt.
  
• i need to become tidier. and sort out a lot of the little jobs that have been piling up
  
• i need to slack a bit less at work.
  
• i need to make more of an effort to see other friends
  
• i need to try and save some cash up.
  
• i need to get healithier
  
• i need to try and sort out my non-existent love life
  
• i need to get out more
  
• i need a proper holiday. and someone fun to go with
  

i intend to begin all of these after i get back from reading.
so between september and new year, i intend on sorting out as many of those problems as humanly possible.

28 FFS. where have the last ten years of my life gone? i cant believe i am on the wrong side of 25, and still not got my head sorted :(

scribbled by: wanye at 22:49